The Inner Critic Grows Louder: Balancing Reality and Self-Doubt

"By now, my test results were normal. According to the doctors, I was totally fine. My body and mind were healthy again — at least on paper. But my mind, and the inner critic, were another story."

When Healing Meets Self-Doubt

Even with a clean bill of health, every small effort felt monumental. I started replaying mistakes endlessly, blaming myself for every setback. Each protocol that didn’t work became proof that I wasn’t strong enough.

The inner critic wasn’t cruel to teach me — it simply repeated every insecurity I had ever felt. And when you’re already fragile, those messages feel like they could break you.

Returning to Work

My first real attempt to reclaim normal life was a call centre job. Three weeks in, still wobbly, they offered me a promotion: Human Resources Business Partner.

Initially, I panicked. How could they expect me to manage 200+ people after everything I had been through? But I paused, planned, and realised: by resting fully, managing energy, and pacing myself, I could handle the challenge.

In that moment, reality cracked open. I wasn’t crazy. I could perform. Evidence replaced doubt. My inner critic still whispered “You’ll fail”, but now I had proof to counter it.

Observing the Surreal

Alongside progress came new stress. I noticed odd behaviors in others — the CEO seemingly bracing against invisible forces, staff appearing unusually bloated, and even a drone floating past the office window.

Strange? Yes. Frightening? At times. And yet, amidst it all, people were kind, clever, and doing their best. I had to reconcile what I observed with reality, staying grounded while acknowledging their experiences.

Even now, people point at the sky or mention drones, and I pause, recognize the reality of the world, and continue forward. This dual reality — healing while navigating unusual experiences — amplified my inner critic. Was I sensitive? Crazy? Or simply aware?

Coaching Insight

Lesson: the inner critic can feel absolute, but it isn’t always accurate. Sometimes the chaos around you makes the critic louder. Strength is not about ignoring reality; it’s about staying grounded despite confusion. Observe the critic without becoming it. Acknowledge the world without taking undue responsibility for it.

Mini Hypnosis / Reflection

Close your eyes. Visualize your inner critic as a character standing outside you. Watch it. Acknowledge it. Know you are not it.

Let it speak, but respond with calm:

I am more than my fears. I am more than my doubts. I am capable of making decisions that honour my energy and my limits.

With each breath, imagine a grounding cord connecting you to the earth. You are safe. You are present. You are in your body.

Closing / Teaser

Tomorrow, we explore the first flickers of hope — small moments that show healing is possible, and how pacing and planning can help reclaim life.